Current mood:	pensive
Current music:	Not While I'm Around - Sweeney Todd OST

“Few things will capture your heart. Pursue these.”***
I'm in love with the idea of love and romance, despite the lack of requited experience of such. Then again, romance can be found anywhere, the simple, silly or sublime, and in any manner, either by oneself or with another person. Still, there is probably no grander and more established expression than that of a wedding.

I recently attended one and since it had been quite some time since the last, I was pretty excited at the prospect. It was also a nice way to cap off my long holidays. As the ceremony drew on, it became clearer to me that as special as each one of these occasions is--weddings are essentially all the same. Cynically put, it's just another bride, another groom, another church, another day.

No four hours seemed to pass by as quickly as those did. The bridal march (note the punctual arrival), father gives away daughter, couple says their I Do's, bride and groom kiss, cameras flash as family and friends pose at the altar, guests head off to the reception, partake of the feast, husband and wife slice the cake, slow dance to "The Way You Look Tonight", the wedding singer serenades, all eyes turn to watch the 'on-site AVP', toasts are made here and there. All executed with that expected precision. My anticipation of the event felt eons longer than the actual experience itself. As if the moment could pass without my noticing it. But of course, I exaggerate.

One thing I didn't see coming was how the couple veered away from the trend of writing their own vows, something I surprisingly appreciated. Sometimes, the more long-winded and personalized, the greater the tendency to get lost in the verbal clutter (this journal being a good case in point), and perhaps the greater the probability to forget and break the promise. To hear those words simply uttered, ...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part, there could be nothing more solemn or more sacred. Words that carry so much weight, it's a wonder how some people can rush into saying them, and an even greater wonder as to how many truly mean it.

Then there's the much-awaited or feared garter/bouquet toss, depending on how you look at it. It was only my second time to join the festivities, and my first as a 'realistic' candidate for the possible 'consequences'. Of course, these parts are no longer done de rigueur, but always involve some wicked twist to catch everyone unaware. My mom wisely points out that these gimmick-driven portions of the program have sprung up because of a change in mindset about marriage. Whereas years back, wedding photos would show ladies in seemingly un-ladylike movement just to clutch at the flowers, guests today shy away from getting so much as a petal.

Women (and men) for their own different reasons have been putting off tying the knot. Yes, it is a vocation, one that heavily involves the full cooperation of another to make it work. Yet, it is also a gamble, a great risk that you can never be fully sure of.

For some time now, I've opened up to the idea that marriage isn't for everyone. That there shouldn't be some timeline or deadline for it to happen. Still, for someone who isn't writing off the whole thing, I know that it doesn't come by a toss of chance. It takes time, an amount of hard work, planning and yes, some sort of timeline. As much as it will come when your time comes, you need to make yourself open for that time to come. Like catching a virus by exposing yourself, rather than locking yourself up. By opening the windows and letting the heady atmosphere envelope you.

As any well-meaning well-wisher, I wanted to place something heartfelt for my message to the couple. Michael Nolan words it beautifully,

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye,
but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue these."⁺⁺

Thinking another way--sometimes what the eye perceives, the first judgments, the appraisal of things as they appear, all these pass us by so quickly and are forgotten with ease. Other things take time, simmering slowly under the covers and once these creep into your heart, questions arise and therein lies the challenge. The heart is a strange funny thing, while easily prone to lightning-fast jolts and impulses, it is just as dangerously susceptible to slow and insistent chipping, to layers peeling off one by one. And as fast or slow as they go, these are the few things that capture your heart. Whichever way, one should feel it and know it.

Peaches and Vince, they have been blessed to have captured each others hearts, and even more blessed to have had the courage to pursue the great unknown. The excitement ends for the wedding guests as they sip the last glass, hear the last strains of the music, and head on home. That is where the magic of the wedding lies, to embark on something so unsure, but to forge that beginning with all faith, optimistic hope and the certainty of only love.


***


The beginning of this year has been no less eventful, with the extraordinary and unforgettable ushering in the times. Just the first week back from the holidays brought with it a lot of surprises, questions and challenges. Deadlines met, with the promise of an onslaught to come. Milestones and moving up, disappointments and roadblocks. The emotional upheaval with the coming and going of people who will be missed dearly.

My heart, my mind, my spirit, all of me, are captive by the things that surround me. I am hit hard by walls knocked over, either by brutal force or the persistent knocking over the years. I open myself to the change, to the new, to the unexpected that 2008 may bring. I'm going to let it in.


***


**edit: Pictures from Peaches and Vincent Cayanan's wedding at My Multiply.

⁺⁺And I quote from the quote I included in my message to the couple. Thanks to Michael Nolan.



***To jody2b, all my admiration goes out to you and your courage to follow your heart. Ad Astra Per Aspera, words to live by indeed :)